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In the March 1970 words of Edna Edison


Due to Micki Bare’s performances in the RSVP Community Theatre’s production of Neil Simon’s The Prisoner of Second Avenue, today’s column was written by her 1970 character, Mrs. Edna Edison. The temporary change was necessary to enable Ms. Bare to stay in character all week and thusly provide the best portrayal possible for a first-time stage actress.
Everywhere you go today, there are people talking about women’s liberation and burning their bras. As much as I’ve spent on my lingerie, I certainly am not going to set it on fire.
Not that I believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I could head out into the workforce any time and be a productive, vital member of corporate America. But I would never discount my years at home taking care of Mel and the girls.
As a housewife, I am the backbone of the family. And strong families are what make this country strong. But just try to explain that to young people today. They just don’t understand what it means to be a productive adult in today’s world.
Young people today are too busy trying to save the world with their sit-ins and marches. For such a young, inexperienced generation, they certainly are opinionated. If you ask me, I think many of them are just following the crowd.
One handsome fella says something that sounds smart in front of a television news camera, and the next thing you know, 10,000 students are swaying, singing and screaming about justice.
The whole world is going crazy and there are people who want to let these teenagers vote. My own two daughters, who are in their first years of college mind you, might be allowed to vote in the next national election.
Who are they going to vote for? John Lennon? My daughters spent more time worrying about John, Paul, George and Ringo during their high school career than they did about math and history.
Even today, when I call them, they bring up the latest on whether the Beatles will or won’t break up. My youngest says she’ll just die if they do. I keep telling her the break p rumor is just that — a rumor. A group that famous making that much money doesn’t just break up.
And there are bigger things to worry about today than whether or not four boys are going to make a new record album. My goodness, Dustin Hoffman was nearly blown up at his own home a few days ago. It’s not like he’s one of those Hollywood crazies. He’s a nice New York actor.
I can’t even imagine what it would be like for the house next door to just blow up. Where were the parents of the radicals trying to make that bomb? Most likely they were out protesting something. Yes, activists who don’t spank have raised young people who blow themselves up with homemade artillery.
Of course, it could be all the drugs on the streets today. President Nixon really needs to do something about the drug problem. If you ask me, he needs somebody famous to talk about the dangers of drugs. He needs someone to which these kids can relate.
If someone like Elvis took a stand against drugs, surely all the young, impressionable people would take notice. We have to do something. That Woodstock Festival last year was just awful. We cannot have things like that going on in the world.
Considering the television shows today, I’m not all that surprised. People are entertained by flying nuns and inappropriately dressed genies. We’re a country at war and we are filling young minds with fantasies of service men finding buxom, magical ladies who live in bottles.
The reality is we don’t have genies. What we do have are scientists that can go to outer space. Since we made it to the moon, though, every country thinks they can do the same. Well, we’ll show them. I read about Apollo 13. We’re sending some men up to the moon next month. We’ll show those communists who has best space program.
When I look at the world today, with its wars, radical protesters and rampant drugs, I just thank God Mel and the girls and I have such a good life. Mel works hard and makes a wonderful living at the advertising agency. The girls seem to be adjusting well to college. And I have all I could ever want.
Although, it would be nice to get away now and again. I wouldn’t mind a month or two in the sun. Some ladies at the garden club were discussing their recent trip to Europe. They are bringing pictures to the next meeting. I cannot wait to see photographs of Spain and Italy.
I’m going to tell Mel that’s where I’d like to go once the girls have both graduated from college. I’ll start saving my kitchen money to help pay. That way, he’ll have to say yes.
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Micki Bare is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau and the Courier-Tribune in Asheboro, N.C., and author of “Thurston T. Turtle Moves to Hubbleville.” She lives in Asheboro with her husband, three children and mother. Her e-mail address is mickibare@inspiredscribe.com