Q. I am involved with a man who verbally abuses me, but he has never been physically abusive. Every time I leave him, he convinces me to come back. I do everything to please him because I really love him. I was told that I’m in a co-dependent relationship. Can you explain exactly what that means?
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Q. I was diagnosed with a Borderline Personality Disorder a few years ago. My friends tell me the diagnosis is probably wrong. Could you tell us more about the condition?
Q. I seem to have memory problems when I get too busy at work. I can’t avoid work at this time. I’ve been to the doctor, and he says I don’t really have a problem. Can you give me some tips to improve my memory?
Q. My daughter doesn’t want to go to school because she is afraid she is going to vomit. She has a good home life and has never experienced a frightening episode around vomiting. What has caused this and what can we do to help her?
Q. My teenage granddaughter spent some time with me recently. She eats very little, and is extremely thin. I have also heard her throwing up after she has eaten a small meal. Could you tell me more about bulimia and anorexia and what causes it? Should I confront her? Should I try to get her help?
Q. My wife who is in her early 60s had surgery several months ago. She continues to take seven to eight pain killers a day that she gets from several doctors. She is irritable, out of it and denies that pain meds are her problem. Could you please explain the dangers of these medications so that my wife and others will understand the problems of pain pill addiction?
Q. Tell me why people are saying it’s wrong to spank my children? I’ve spanked them all and never had a problem. Why do all of these so-called professionals think we should stop something that has worked?
Q. My 17- year-old daughter is pregnant again. She’s mostly interested in partying, not mothering. I know she continues to smoke, and I think she may be drinking and using other drugs. Please address the harm that these substances can do, so that I can give her the column.
Q. I am a college freshman. I have been depressed and having panic attacks since the first week of college. I’m away from home for the first time, and I miss my family and friends from high school. I feel like I’m sinking, and I want to drop out and go home. Is this normal? I feel so alone.
Q. My mother is bipolar and my aunt is schizophrenic. I’ve been reading that mental disorders are inherited. Is that true? If so, what are my chances of having a mental health problem? I’m really afraid of becoming schizophrenic.
Q. I’m in my early 40’s and I’m getting married for the second time. I had such a bad marriage the first time that I didn’t think I would ever be with anyone again. I’m frightened that this marriage will end up as horrible as the last one. Please give me some pointers on how to make my marriage successful this time.
Q. My husband has asked for a divorce. He says there is no one else; he is just tired of being with me. He’s refusing to discuss it or get help, even though I have begged him to seek counseling. I’ve moved out, and he doesn’t want me to return. I’m 28, and I feel like my life is over. How can I move on when I don’t know what happened?
Q. My 10-year-old son just returned to school. He’s already talking about how much he hates it. Last year, he complained of being sick all of the time, and missed several days. He was barely promoted to the next grade. What can I do to make this school year better?
Robin Williams, who had wealth, fame and the respect of millions, committed suicide last week. His actions are another reminder that depression, mental illness and substance abuse can be found in the richest and most successful. It can be found in friends, in family. It can be found in self. His suicide was a reminder that we never really know the pain of others, and often do not understand the depth of our own pain.
Q. My friend’s teen grandson came to live with her recently. Since then, she has had nothing but trouble with him. He is angry, and he is getting worse since he’s living with her. I know she reads your column. Could you give her some advice?
Q. My daughter had her first child a month ago. She shows little interest in the baby, and even less in her husband. Is this post-partum? She had problems with depression when she was in high school and college, and I’m afraid they are returning. How can we help her?
Q. My husband cheated on me with one of his co-workers. He knows he made a mistake and begged my forgiveness. I am trying to forgive him even though it is difficult. I want to find out what is wrong with our marriage that made him cheat in the first place. He says there is nothing wrong, and he is happy. I’ve always thought we had a good marriage, too. He says that he doesn’t know why he cheated. Could this be true?
Q. My 83-year-old mother is depressed, but she refuses to take medication. There is nothing physically wrong with her. My father died about three years ago, and she hasn’t been the same since. I live out of town, so she is alone. What can I do?
Q. I think I’m depressed. Some days I feel okay, but I often don’t feel like getting out of bed. My work is beginning to suffer. How do I know if I’m really depressed?
Q. What is the difference between someone who abuses alcohol and someone who is alcohol dependent? My husband has five or six drinks some nights and doesn’t drink at all for another week. He doesn’t consider it a problem, but I think he is an alcoholic. Please clarify.
Q. I am concerned that I’m getting Alzheimer’s. When I walk into a room, I don’t remember why I’m there. When I park my car, I often forget where it is? My friends tell me this is “age related memory loss.” Is this true?
Q. I try to help others: I’ve given money to a friend, bought her groceries, and driven her everywhere. She is capable of working, but she doesn’t. How can I set a boundary between being helpful and having people take advantage of me?
Q. My wife is an alcoholic and overuses prescription drugs. When I confront her about anything, she becomes belligerent, accuses me of being paranoid, and says I’m over-controlling. I know that I’ve let this go on for too long, and I’m beginning to think there is something wrong with me. What can I do?
Q. I am a college student who has spent years procrastinating. I made it through high school with few problems, but now I’m having a really hard time in college. I barely got through this semester. What can I do?
Q. Even though I am in my 40’s, I don’t get along with my mother. Every year around Mother’s Day, I spend time with her, but I don’t want to. She has always been difficult, and I come away exhausted. Why do we continue to have such a bad relationship and how do I avoid the emotional turmoil?
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